Mutual Feelings
by Accio Harry Potter
Summary: RLxSB in the Marauder's Era. Sort of angsty at the beginning, but then lotsa smut. In Remus’ POV. This definitely contains slash, so if you don’t like, then don’t read. And yes, I know that this title sucks. Sorry! Please review! It would really help!


RemusxSirius in the Marauder's Era. Sort of angsty, but with lotsa smut. Sort of fluffy towards the end though. In Remus' POV. This definitely contains slash, so if you don't like, then don't read. If you feel the need to write flames, then I will just use them to toast marshmallows.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything! It's all J.K. Rowling's.

**Mutual Feelings**

I was biting down on my pillow, trying to muffle the sounds of my crying. I didn't want anyone to hear. During the day I can distract myself with school, therefore I'm protected from my own thoughts. But at night it's different. There is nothing to stop the dark thoughts from slithering into my mind. There's nothing to stop the emptiness that consumes me, and there is nothing I can do to fill it. It has been there for as long as I can remember, eating away at me like the curse that marks me. I think about how being, well, a monster, will affect my life. I mean, no one in their right mind would ever hire me for a job. Who would want a vile creature like me working for them? And no one would ever want to be with me because of what I am. I'm destined to be alone, and when I try to picture what my life will be like, all I can see is this darkness and emptiness, and that scares me. I mean, it really scares me. I try not to think about it, but I always do, and I always end up crying. I'm pathetic, hopelessly pathetic.

"Moony?"

I jerked up fast. Sirius had pulled back the hangings around my bed. I feverishly began to wipe my face in a vain attempt to make it look like I hadn't been crying.

"Sirius! Um, I was just, um, what do you want?" I stammered.

"I couldn't sleep, and I heard you, um, crying. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," I lied.

Sirius had a strange look on his face. It was almost sympathetic, a look that I had never really seen before in his deep, gray eyes.

"Okay then. Goodnight I guess."

He turned to go, but the thought of being alone again made me feel very depressed.

"Wait! Sirius!"

He turned back around.

"Yeah?"

"Please stay."

My eyes began to swell with tears. He walked back over to my bed.

"Move over, Moony."

I scooted over. We were lying on our sides facing each other. Then, Sirius did the strangest thing. He put his arms around me and pulled me close to him. He then began to sort of pat my back, massaging it in small circles.

"It's okay Moony," he whispered.

I liked being this close to him, and I did feel better. I could not help but think that this whole situation was a little bit strange. This was so unlike Sirius, but I didn't mind it at all. I liked the feeling of his muscular arms around me. It made me feel safe. I wasn't thinking about being cursed or about my future. I wanted to stay like this forever. After a few minutes, Sirius fell asleep. I studied his face, which was only inches from mine. His silky, raven hair was slightly messy, and his angular jaw had some stubble on it. His full lips were not quite closed, and his heavily lashed eyes were shut tight. His face was almost too pretty to be a guy's, but somehow it worked for him. Sirius was so perfect, and being in his arms, where I could feel the rise and fall of his chest with each breath he took, made me fall asleep feeling happy for once in my life.

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I woke up alone. I thought perhaps that what had happened last night was only a very vivid dream, but if it was a dream, then why was there still the unmistakable scent of Sirius everywhere. I got out of my bed and saw James buttoning up his shirt.

"Moony, you slept in late."

"Yeah. Where's Sirius?" I asked.

"I don't know. He left like half an hour ago without saying a word."

"Oh."

"Yeah, well I'm gonna grab some breakfast. Want to come?"

"No. I'm not hungry."

"Okay, see ya then!"

James left me alone in the room. I decided to get dressed and look for Sirius. I looked in all the usual spots, but he wasn't anywhere. Was he avoiding me? I couldn't stop the thought from popping into my head. I didn't see him all day, and he wasn't at lunch or dinner. I asked James if I could see the map, but he said that Sirius must have had it. Finally, just as I was about to get into bed, Sirius rushed into the room, jumped into his bed, and closed the hangings. I was very confused, but got into my bed. I was so tired from running around to find Sirius all day that I fell right asleep.

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I woke up, and I felt really good. I mean like really, really good. I sat up a little and then it hit me. I had a wet dream. I looked at the sticky mess that I made, and I groaned as I grabbed my wand and muttered a cleaning charm. But then I remembered the dream that I had had, and I gasped. Oh my God! My dream was about…oh God! In my dream, I had walked into the bathroom, and Sirius was in a steamy shower, completely naked. The water was cascading down his sculpted body. When he saw me, he smiled his beautiful, lopsided smile, and the next thing I knew I was naked too. Sirius pinned me against the wall of the shower and started kissing me everywhere. Then he grinned at me, knelt down, and then before I know what's happening my hard cock was in his hot, wet mouth. Sirius was pumping me in and out of him, and it was the most amazing feeling I had ever experienced. I came hard and fast inside his mouth, and then I woke up.

Oh man. I can't like Sirius! He's a guy! And he's not just any guy, he's Sirius, my best friend! Does this mean I'm gay? Oh no! He cannot find out. He would be disgusted. He is not even gay, and even if he was, he would never like me. As I lay in my bed, I pull up my t-shirt to expose my torso. I examined it. I looked at the way my ribs protruded, and how my pale skin was feathered with angry scars. I buried my head into my pillow and groaned. Sirius would never want to be with someone as scrawny and scarred as me. I wanted to stay in my bed for the rest of the day and wallow in self pity. If Sirius avoids me all day today, that will just make things even worse. But we have classes today, so I forced myself to get out of bed. Sirius was sitting at the edge of his bed putting on his tie.

"Hey, Moony! Want to go grab some breakfast?" he asked, like he hadn't been avoiding me all day yesterday.

"Um, sure."

All day we ate meals, went to classes, and hung out like we always did, but every time I looked into his grey eyes, a wave of guilt crashed over me because of the dream I had last night. Soon enough, it came to my least favorite part of the day: bedtime. I put on my pajamas and lay down. It wasn't long before the usual blackness began to invade my mind. I needed Sirius again. I really did. After a few moments of having a mental debate with myself, I decided to go over to his bed. I quietly walked over to his four-poster, pulled back his hangings, and poked my head inside. I tried to push the thoughts of how adorable he looked while he was sleeping from my mind.

"Padfoot!" I whispered.

He groggily opened his eyes.

"What?" he asked, sounding extremely pissed off.

I instantly regretted coming over here.

"Um, never mind."

I turned to walk away.

"Moony, wait. You can lie down with me if you want."

I turned back around and got into his bed. He was facing the opposite way, so my chest was pressed against his back. I felt safe here, but it wasn't long before the closeness of him made me get hard. Fuck! I needed to leave! If he knew that I was hard because of him he'd hate me forever. I knew that my erection was poking him in the back, and I wanted to leave, but the friction of my hard cock against his back felt amazing.

"Moony?" said Sirius hesitantly.

I gulped. I was so busted.

"Oh, Sirius. God, I'm sorry. I'll leave." I felt like I was about to cry.

But before I could even get out of his bed, Sirius had turned the other way so that he was facing me. I could feel something hard on my leg. It took me a second to realize that he had a hard on too. He looked at me, his grey eyes burning into me. His face was only two inches from mine. He leaned in and kissed me softly. I moaned, and he continued kissing me. It was incredible. He slipped his tongue into my mouth, and our tongues started working together. I could feel him getting even harder on my thigh. I pulled off his t-shirt and stared in awe at his smooth, muscular torso. He started to unbutton my nightshirt, but I stopped him.

"Why not?" Sirius begged.

"Just, just don't."

"Moony…"

"I'm hideous, Sirius. I'm so skinny and I have all these scars…"

"Moony, that doesn't matter. Please. I want to see you."

I took a deep breath and nodded. He slowly began to unbutton my shirt until he finally slipped it off.

"Whoa!" he said, and I crossed my arms over my chest.

"I told you. I'm disgusting."

"No. I mean, whoa Moony, you're beautiful."

He then began to plant kisses on my upper body, kissing each one of my scars. It sent jolts throughout my entire body. He then started to slip off my pajama pants and tossed them to the floor. He stuck a hand into my boxers, causing me to let out a moan at his touch. But it was too light. I needed some relief.

"Sirius, please…"

He then moved his head lower. He began to lightly suck on my hard on through my boxers. The wetness combined with the friction of the fabric was maddening, but I still needed more.

"Sirius!!"

He then finally stopped teasing me, and pulled down my boxers. Then, just like in my dream, his hot, wet mouth enveloped my extremely hard cock. He licked off the pre-come that had already started to form. He massaged the head of my member with his tongue. I was close. I grasped his silky tresses, desperately trying to hold on. I wanted this to last, but all it took were a few more pumps before I came into his mouth. It aroused me again to see that he swallowed all of it. He came up and kissed me again.

"Fuck, Moony. I want you so bad."

He softly kissed my neck.

"Please Moony! Please!"

I kissed him on the lips and looked him in the eyes. He knew what I wanted. He flipped me onto my stomach and began to massage my entrance. He then stuck a finger inside of me, pumping it in and out. It was a strange but wonderful feeling. He stuck two more fingers inside of me, and then he hit a bundle of nerves that made me gasp and become hard all over again. It was an incredible feeling. Then he pulled his fingers out of me. I was slightly disappointed because I didn't want him to stop, but then he positioned his cock at my entrance and plunged inside of me. I took a sharp breath. It hurt, but then it started to feel good. He thrust in and out of me in a rhythmic movement. With one final thrust, he hit the wall of nerves again, causing him to empty himself inside of me, and making me cum all over again. He pulled out of me and then pulled me close, into the same position we were in the first night when he comforted me. He even massaged my back in the same small circles.

"Padfoot?"

"Hmm?"

"Why were you avoiding me the other day?"

"Oh. About that. Well, I had a lot of things on my mind, Moony, and I sort of had a dream about you. It was a, um, a wet dream, and I wasn't sure that you felt the same way about me. But tonight when I felt that you were... excited, I knew that I wanted you more than anything."

I smiled. "And what happened in this wet dream of yours?" I asked him.

"Well, we were in this steamy shower…"

"Ah, you don't say."

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AN: Reviews would be greatly appreciated!


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